do not judge...my life is fun:)

So I did this 2 times, because even though it said previous experiences don't count I still felt guilty, it came out the same both times. My guilt was wasted.

Your result for The Sexual HELL Test...

HELL LEVEL 2

Raw score: 62%

You're just about as deep in sexual hellfire as a person can get. Virtually no urge, however demented, will go ungratified; practically no boundary will go uncrossed. You're probably proud of your adventurousness, and, honestly, you should be. Few people are confident enough to pursue pleasure on their own terms.



Your morals could sink a bit further, sure, but it's likely that you've got a pretty good idea of what you're into and what you would do...above all you're honest with yourself with what you want. If more people were honest with themselves, you'd have a lot more company down in the flames.



AVOID: the lost souls in sexual heaven and (above all) the denizens of sexual purgatory. You don't need any prudes or wishy-washers in your life.

Take The Sexual HELL Test at HelloQuizzy

Plahdoh Fun

A couple weeks ago Bryan came to play while Aunt Shel was at the doctor. The boys played with playdoh for most of the morning.

SHOPPING!!

Can't wait until tomorrow. The kids and I are going shopping! I have coughgainedcough some weight and only have 1 pair of shorts that fit. That pair is falling apart as I walk! I decided it was time to bite the bullet and buy new shorts. Even if they are bigger. Even if I have never ever bought shorts soooo big before. Even if I am ashamed of this. The fact still remains I need to stop looking like we live in a van down by the river.

Shopping with the kiddos always proves to be fun. They are very good. They are also very bribe-able. I thought I would be bribing them to not make embarrassing comments about me while in the dressing rooms but I lucked out, Aunt Shel will be going too. I am also looking forward to having some bonding time with her. We used to do stuff like this all the time but now we are always so busy, or there are extra things to do, or extra people along.

So tomorrow I will be depressed because I hate looking like this and I hate having to admit that this has happened. All that aside I hope I can find some nice shorts cheap. Maybe I will even find a t-shirt that isn't gray. Which reminds me, I need to find something to wear tomorrow that isn't gray. There is a sales lady in the mall that says I am depressing. Every time she sees me I am wearing a gray t-shirt and a gray zip-up hoodie. I laughed at her, but now I watch what I wear when I will be at the mall.

Brown Bag Movie

Our first 2 weeks with Jonas this summer were fun. We had t-ball games, playground time, swimming, basketball camp and even squeezed in a trip to the movies. Basically we were really busy! During the downtime we were either working on his summer homework or doing his calendar activities. The calendar proved to be very challenging. Many of the activities were focused around his local library schedule. On Fridays they have something called "Brown bag movie". Given the time that this happens I assumed that it meant bring your lunch to the library and join us for a movie. FUN!
It just so happened we had one of the movies listed. Since I am trying to be greener we passed on the brown bag.

Our first waste-free lunch:
Turkey sandwich, pretzels, seedless green grapes, and flavored water.
waste~ the Gatorade bottle...there's a but...it was already reused and it is recyclable.

They really enjoyed having a picnic in the living room.

I realize this picture is blurry but it is the only one that didn't a) show Ady's undies b) look like they were killing each other c) show my messy living room.

What is wrong in this picture?

Let's play a game. There is one thing wrong in this picture. Can you find it?

A fly on the wall

I thought it would be fun to share some of the funny things the kids have been saying. They are growing so fast.
This weekend I was playing with Jonas and realized there are still things, at 6, he isn't saying right. We have actually noticed this before but yesterday I had to wonder if I wrote out thirteen, fourteen, fifteen would he be able to read and recognize them as 13 14 and 15 or would he ask what those words mean. When he is speaking he says fifting, sixting, seventing. All of his teens end in ting.
He really likes the -ing endings as he really emphasizes the "g" sound on all of them. We don't take Ady swimming, we take her swimminG. We were rhyming the other day and he was telling me that sniff and fifth rhymed. He was saying fiff not fifth. His mispronouncing is one of the few things keeping him little. I am cherishing them. Not correcting...well...there is the matter of him saying "ain't" but that is entirely different from fourting!

Adylynn is always full of questionable material. Most recently she got on this kick of "the peanut house"(interchangeable with place and restaurant as well) She wanted "Daddy to take us to the peanut house" I was very stumped. After some discussion I figured out she was talking about Texas Roadhouse. They have peanuts in buckets at your table and she wanted to go there to eat. Thursday, Daddy finally took her to the peanut place where she indulged her taste buds and belly in handfuls and handfuls of peanuts. She also enjoyed throwing the shells on the floor. What I can't figure out is how she can remember ever being there. I can remember being there 4 times in the last 3 years and none of them included Ady. Her grandma would never take her there. So where the idea even came from stumps me.

Finally I bring you the little one. After being allowed(ahemSTEVENahem) to watch Transformers, Justice League Unlimited, and Kung Fu Panda (ok so I had a little to do with the last 2 but Transformers was totally Steve) Jaden has taken to kicking stuff. Not so much stuff, he really only kicks air but if you ask him something like "Jaden what are you going to do if that bug comes back" He will say "I kickakickakicka the bug like this" picture little leg kicking the air. It is so funny.
The other one he has been doing for awhile is "I no likea" At supper he will says "I no likea corn" or when he is mad at me "I no likea mommy"
He is spoiled rotten. Last week we took him to Aunt Shel's for a play date with Bryan. On our way home, the big kids and I were talking about how we would enjoy the break from the wee "double boy", Ady's name for him, and Jonas said something about him being mean or bad I explained he is just 2. That is what 2 year olds do. But I have to admit that I am worried that Steve and I are spoiling him.

So if you were a fly on the the wall in our house these are things you would hear. Heck given the amount of screaming you could be a fly outside of the house!

True to Life comic strip

Tied to the Internet by themomsalon related [www.mombloggersclub.com]

Fearless Fourteen

Today has been a very good day. There have been many many reasons for my giddy mood. Home taxes for the flood. Our good neighbor insurance agent did FINALLY give me the coverage I need to protect my family. I didn't buy $315 worth of books from the traveling book kid. The kids have been surprisingly nice to one another. Jonas' homework was soooooo easy that he got 3 full pages done. See many happy occasions today. However the best part of the day... Fearless Fourteen arrived. Just minutes ago. I can't wait to read it! I am considering taking off to Starbucks tonight to get in a few hours of reading. Or maybe I will just lock myself in my room. Whatever I do you can bet that the kids won't be fed, bathed, or dressed until I finish it:) Adios!

Overheard this morning

We have already had a rough morning, and it is only 8:30am. I am trying to de-stress over a good cup of coffee, Pandora, and reading blogs but not having much luck.
All 3 kids are playing together. NICELY!
I think they are playing Transformersdoranarnia or maybe Doraformersberrysleepingrapunzel. ANYWAY, whatever it is Ady just said "No Jonas we need to save my friend Billy from the pirate pigs" Jonas said "OK but who's Billy?" Ady, with the same attitude she gave me over getting dressed, responded "MY FRIEND BILLY JOEL. The pirate pigs trapped him. He will never be able to sing again! The whole world will be sad especially Mommy! We have to save him! VAMOS!"

Suddenly I don't feel so stressed and tired.

Rainy Day Blues

These pictures pretty much tell our story. You know, not including the mini freak out I had on Steve. I was totally rational no matter what he says. It also doesn't include the absolutely horrible unfriendly neighborhood insurance agent we still currently pay to insure us.(Please note-CURRENTLY)
So anyway, here is the short story:

This would be some time before we evacuated the house in the wee hours of the morning. Please notice the water level.

Another water level shot. If you look to the left of the picture you can see a black piece of padding on the weight bench.

Water has stopped coming in from the toilet. What we didn't know at the time was there was still water coming in through the foundation and a water spigot.

The weight bench. Water is now touching the pad.

We didn't have insurance, which is a long pissy story, but we really didn't take a big loss either. We had to have someone come in to fix the water heater and air conditioner. There are a handful of material items that we lost but overall we were very lucky. The kids and pets all survived well. Steve and I were laughing during most of this. I believe laughter is probably one of the greatest gifts I have. It all comes with a huge dose of sarcasm BUT at least we can laugh about this stuff.

That's it, in a very small nutshell. I might post more down the road. I don't know. Honestly I am still dealing with the aftermath on a daily basis and retelling the LONG story to anyone who will listen so I don't know that I will share more here. Besides I still have a dance recital, and a graduation to post about.

A letter to my husband

Dearest Hubby,

Please stop submitting me to this cruel and unusual punishment of the desktop. I am finding it harder and harder to remain calm using the damn wireless mouse and weird ass swooshy keyboard. Did you ever notice how hard it is to get the wireless mouse pointer onto the item you are trying to click on? I HATE IT! Also I have pictures, videos, and stories that the internet world would like to see and hear. I swear if you don't fix my wi-fi soon I will give people permission to throw tomatoes at you. Yeah you heard me...tomatoes! And maybe they will be rotten ones! After all I have done for you this week, with the sewage in the basement, no air, sitting through that Indiana Jones movie, and dealing with our HORRIBLE insurance agent, isn't it the least you can do for me? Give me my wi-fi back. I have started to notice weird things with my speaking and I believe that it is directly related to my lack of blog and twitter time. Like, I now say "ALL CAPS" before I yell at the kids. Or when I want to really get my point across I say "FIX THE FUCKING COMPUTER OR I WILL SNAP YOUR NECK EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT" It just isn't right. I think it is making me sick too.

I logged into my reader today and saw I had 230 unread items. I felt all this pressure to read them all RIGHT. NOW. but alas I am unable to hideout in the bedroom and read all the blogs I so desperately need. For the screen is too big, the brightness hurts my eyes, the speakers are crystal clear, and the whole mouse pointer issue mention before. It simply is not fair to continue forcing me to live like this. PUT DOWN THE LAUNDRY AND GET YOUR ASS ON THE COMPUTER! It mustn't go on like this any longer. Wait, what's that you said? If you put down the laundry I have to fold it? Well OK...you fold the laundry THEN GET YOUR ASS ON THE COMPUTER!

Lots of love
Your wife

School's Out

My music lover has been singing this song for a week. She even gets a cool rock star voice for the chorus.

EW EW EW and EW!

You remember this from a couple weeks ago: Spider found in grapes

Now I bring you: Scorpion in watermelons

All I can say is "Holy Moly, Batman!"

I have the chills and am getting all jittery. Go, watch the video then come back and tell me if you get all heebie jeebie.

YIKES!

Spider found in grapes after 2 days in the fridge.
OMG! I have nightmares about these exact things!

I love the quote from the man at the reptile center

"We get about half a dozen calls a year from various supermarkets and grocers about the area to come and pick them (creatures) up.

Holy crap! At least 6 times a year in England this happens.
How often does it happen in the US? What's next? One day we will be walking through the produce section of our local store and see the Chicken Eating Spider wander out from behind the banana stand. EEK!

I get the chills just thinking about it. We watched the chicken eating spider show on PBS and even Steve got all heebie jeebie

Future Jerry Springer Guests

Adylynn and Jaden are playing house. See if you can follow this.

Jaden is the daddy. He has 16 kids. The blue bunny's mom never came home one time so he had to get a new wife and have new kids. The 5 "kids" he had with his next wife were all different and didn't get along so the wife took 2 and left the other 3 with blue bunny. Adylynn is the other 10 kids "we all look the same but we are very different" Adylynn's mom is on an adventure with her monkey friend Boots. Boots' mom is the blue bunny's aunt but not Jaden's sister or the mom's sister. The grandpa is Diego but Jaden calls him Diego not dad because he has no respect for his father EVEN THOUGH Jaden's daddy worked very hard to take care of Jaden's 16 kids.

I don't know where she comes up with this stuff.
Watching them play house was great. Jaden is still too little to play like that so she would start crying "daddy" and he would yell "Daddy at work" She would growl and yell "you are the dad we are pretending!"

Freecycle

I am an avid freecycle user. I probably freecycle some random item that is no longer useful to me, once a week. I fell in love with the idea of this easy, no hassle way of keeping still usable stuff out of the trash by offering it to someone else in the community. Over the past couple of years I have freecycled many good quality things. Everything from kids clothes to toys to the wood burning stove that we inherited when we bought the house. Obviously, I use the site frequently. Occasionally there are posts for items that I need or want too. I have used the site so much that I have gotten to know some members as more than just there usernames. I met Sophie's mom on freecycle and became her babysitter all from a bag of boys clothes. Adylynn and I have friends who give us dibs on clothing before freecycling. It is wonderful! We are doing great things for the earth and managing to make a few few friends too!
If you aren't freecycling you really should be.
Just be prepared... nothing is really negative about the process just a little annoying. Once you figure out who wants stuff, who answers emails, who takes EVERYTHING you post, even if it is a half eaten box of crackers from 1940, then it is really a pleasing way to recycle. My biggest annoyance, the reason for this rant, is the people who email me this big long sob story about how my no longer used items are desperately needed by them, their niece, or their cousin's uncle's wife's brother twice removed. They would so greatly appreciate my generosity if I picked them to receive my stuff. So I get suckered in to Betty Sue Bob Jones' desperate need for infant cereal and I send her an email that says where I live and the times I am available for pick up then I wait. and wait. and WAIT. AND WAIT. AND WAIT! Until I finally send an email that says something nice includes my phone numbers, my address, good pick up times and even an offer to leave it on the porch for their convenience but I really want to write "COME GET THIS SHIT" and I wait and wait and wait and check my junk email. Read through 30 enlarge your penis emails only to find that Betty Sue Bob Jones didn't get sent to spam. So I send another still nice but bordering on "GET YOUR SHIT OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN" email you can tell the difference because when I am really mad I don't say "I hope everything is alright" nor do I end with "Thank you" Then there is usually an email back that makes me feel like a real ass. The kind of email that I am pretty sure is a lame ass excuse but I still feel bad. Your uncle can only have so many house fires. So then I send an email back telling the person I am so sorry for them. Can you imagine being abducted by aliens! OMG! I even offer to bring it over to them since I feel like the biggest ass for not ending my last email with "Thank you" I hit send and then I wait...wait...wait...wait...wait and WAIT until the item that I was hoping to get out of my house before trash day has now sat in my bedroom for 4 trash days.

SUCKER!

When I finally throw it away and post it as "taken" I get an angry email from Betty Sue Bob Jones stating that was her stuff!

Seriously, even though every group has a Betty Sue Bob Jones, or two, you should find your local freecycle group.
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!

you heard it here first

the newest, coolest slang term for the kiddies

"sosoakin"(pronounced so so kin)

The following are examples of how to use "sosoakin"

This room in sosoakin messy

Jonas' new dinosaur legos are sosoakin cool

These jewels are sosoakin squishy



Sosoakin has been in Adylynn's vocabulary all day long. Tonight as she was getting ready for bed she actually said "My towel is sosoakin soaking wet" she then explained to me that she says sosoakin because it is cool.

Sitting

Day 1 of hubby's golf trip and I find myself stuck in the downstairs bathroom waiting for my 2 year old to go upstairs, in the bathroom, get in the bottom drawer, get the toilet paper, and bring it to me.



This never happens when Steve is home!

My words, my mannerisms, but yet something is different....Oh yeah...it's not me

Adylynn: "Hey how old are you again?"
Me: "UH.....UM...."
Adylynn: "mom it is rude not to talk back to someone when they talk to you"
I was still trying to figure out how old I am
Adylynn: "MOM ANSWER ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU"
Me: "Adylynn we are trying not to yell in the house remember"
Adylynn: "yeah yeah I know but how old are you"
Me: "UH.....hold on let me think about it"
Adylynn: "this really isn't something you need to think about you are old right? I am 4, Jaden is 2 and Jonas is 6 so how old are you."
Me: "um I guess I forget how old I am"
Adylynn: "how can you forget I am 4 Jonas is 6 Jaden is 2 Sophie is 8 months old and Num Num and Grandma are older than you. Num Num is your mom so she has to be older than you and I am you daughter so I am littler than you that makes you between 4 years old and old like Num Num. Are you 30?"
Me: "Heck no I'm not 30! Are you insane!"
Adylynn: "mommy we are trying not to yell in the house. jeez I asked a simple question and you insist on throwing a fit NOW PLEASE answer the question nicely"

Damn you! All you have to do is blog.

I have nothing to say today. Actually I have a lot to say today but just don't have the time to think about putting it in words. Do you know how hard it is to decide when to use ALL CAPS or extra exclamation points!!!!! or really getting the point across with. extra. periods. OR...ALL. CAPS. AND EXTRA. PERIODS!!!!! I just don't have the energy to do it.
Here are some updates on what is happening here

We no longer get to spend our days loving on Sophie. Tiffany decided she wanted to be at home with her.

After 3 years of being in Clinton I finally have a friend and we do stuff together!

By some sort of miracle said friend, who is Tiffany, was able to join the Y this month so I don't have to go by myself. Most of you know what a hard time I have with stuff like that. She will never know how much Steve loves her for this very point. Or when I said I was going to kiss her hubby the next time I saw him I was actually sort of serious.

I have been working out the last 2 days and it feels great

This week I actually started a conversation with "this one time at a strip club I saw...." It was just with Steve so it wasn't too bad but it is getting filed in my "did I just say that" file.

Ady and Steve started running together this week. It is really special time to her. She was telling her Grandma "only I get to run with Daddy. Jaden is too little"

I have a corner table sitting in my dining room waiting to be put together. This is very exciting for us for a number of good reasons -being able to all sit at the table together comfortably -having more space in the dining room - both bench seats have storage space so the kids won't have to give up all of their crafts. However the best part of a new dining room table is that I can finally be rid of the stupid ass plank chairs! I ABHOR those chairs! I spent far too many hours cleaning and scraping those damn planks clean.

With the addition of the dining room table I can officially say My house is a home. MY HOME! There is still lots of work to be done but I finally feel like the property inside our home is special to only us.

Okay so I had more to say than I thought...but really I need to get ready to go workout. We have less than 2 hours to get breakfast, dressed, and make the 2 minute drive to the Y. Adylynn has yet to grace us with her morning attitude. Jaden is already attached to his "puzzlebooks" too.