Let's go swimming 6

Yes it is a day late. Since we have all been sickly I wasn't sure when this would get up.

Here is the run down on Tuesday class.

I ROCK!

I know, I know, a complete turnaround from last week. This turnaround is why I decided to post last week's feelings. It was like some sort of weird break through. I want to take the kids swimming. I can't wait for the water park....I don't want to go down 60 foot slides or anything BUT I am totally cool with the water park scene as a whole. We WILL be making it to family swims more often! AND even though it is much much to late now I wish the in-laws would have kept their pool. Screw Steve's childhood memories I have my own I could be making! I can't believe I spent my entire life missing so much!

I can't explain the breakthroughs but here is the order in which they happened:
1. Jaden's swim teacher said "maybe Jaden would do better with someone not totally terrified" I had 2 reactions. Stress. How could she not tell I was completely different from the first time we took the class in the spring? Then I got this "I'll show her" attitude. Jaden and I blew bubbles, went under, jumped in, and had a blast together.

2. When I got home I had to wash my suit in order to swim that evening. I began thinking I really need 2 suits. With two classes on Tuesday and one on Thursday not counting extra swims! Then it hit me that never in my life have I ever needed, desired, or wanted two swimming suits.

3. The only time my stressed out over worked muscles didn't kill me was...wait for it... in the water! Hey, this water thing isn't so bad. I feel like a new person getting out of the pool after just 30 minutes. It really can do wonders for you.

4. I swam with no floaty devices the entire length of the pool! TWICE! See I told you I rocked! I will admit I wasn't the most graceful of swimmers and I need to practice A LOT but when I was panicky in the deep end I was able to keep my head up. I got myself on my back, or treading, with no help from the teacher. I was able to tread or float until I was calm enough to try again.

I rock!

I may never be able to "crawl" or properly "whip kick" but I can swim. I can swim to the deep end and not get trapped. Not flail about like and idiot or be plain stupid. My kids can toss a ball in the water and I won't be freaking about the splashes or if it goes to far out. There is a lot I want to do now that I know I can move through the water safely. There is even more I don't ever intend to do. However just knowing that I can choose to try or not try is more than I expected to gain from this.

I am prepared for next week with the knowledge of what I have learned about myself over the last 6 weeks. I am prepared for my teacher to continue pushing me to "crawl". I am also prepared for her to throw something new in the mix. Push me a little further and a little deeper into the unknown.

Let's go swimming 5

*never got around to publishing this last week. After tonight's class I felt like this was a major step toward conquering! More on tonight's class on Thursday. Please note this was written to be published last Thursday*

Yes, I know I skipped 4. It was skipped because I was feeling good. I didn't have anything to talk about. What was I going to say? Last week was fine. No new fears. The old fears are better. The end.
If I would have said that then I would have felt like an idiot this week.
This week was horrible! Not counting week 1 this was the worst!

I still can't get the blowing out thing down. I can't manage to go from ear to face in. There is always a lump of water in my throat and it sends my head into meltdowns. I feel like all of this was a waste of time. I have made myself vulnerable to the Internet, and my swim instructor, and the mom to a friend of Ady's. Everyone probably thinks I am really pathetic and I agree. Maybe the whole idea was stupid. I obviously am not ready for this.
The teacher saw how frustrated I was and tried to point out the things I could do. She has been so supportive and impressed at how well I have done. I can do a lot of things. Things I didn't know I could do. I am able to get in the water and not be totally freaked out. I can swim(with flippers) in the deep end. At the end of class this week she tried to get me to do the backstroke. I imagine I looked as pathetic as I felt. I did make it the length of the pool but it wasn't pleasant. water was splashing on my face and I couldn't open my eyes. I ran into the wall. My head went down once. It was horrible. I really feel silly. We are at a point where I feel like I should be swimming and I'm not.

After class I was a mess. I am still a mess. Haven't talked to anyone about it. Just going to keep this one bundle up inside. I have tried to talk to Steven but I can't seem to do it without getting emotional. Aren't we at a point that I should be past that?

Maybe it was outside stress this week. My aunt had surgery and I was over there taking care of her before class. No time to prepare. I was already having a bad day when I went in. That could have set it off. I don't know maybe I should just take this set back at face value and go on like it didn't happen.

One meltdown in 5 weeks. Doesn't seem so bad does it? I guess if you want to really look at the big picture you can find positives. I know they are there. I can go read Parts 1, 2, and 3 and see how far I have come. Heck, I didn't even do a 4. I didn't have anything to work through. I know I am farther than I was. However, I am not where I expected to be.

do not judge...my life is fun:)

So I did this 2 times, because even though it said previous experiences don't count I still felt guilty, it came out the same both times. My guilt was wasted.

Your result for The Sexual HELL Test...

HELL LEVEL 2

Raw score: 62%

You're just about as deep in sexual hellfire as a person can get. Virtually no urge, however demented, will go ungratified; practically no boundary will go uncrossed. You're probably proud of your adventurousness, and, honestly, you should be. Few people are confident enough to pursue pleasure on their own terms.



Your morals could sink a bit further, sure, but it's likely that you've got a pretty good idea of what you're into and what you would do...above all you're honest with yourself with what you want. If more people were honest with themselves, you'd have a lot more company down in the flames.



AVOID: the lost souls in sexual heaven and (above all) the denizens of sexual purgatory. You don't need any prudes or wishy-washers in your life.

Take The Sexual HELL Test at HelloQuizzy

SHOPPING!!

Can't wait until tomorrow. The kids and I are going shopping! I have coughgainedcough some weight and only have 1 pair of shorts that fit. That pair is falling apart as I walk! I decided it was time to bite the bullet and buy new shorts. Even if they are bigger. Even if I have never ever bought shorts soooo big before. Even if I am ashamed of this. The fact still remains I need to stop looking like we live in a van down by the river.

Shopping with the kiddos always proves to be fun. They are very good. They are also very bribe-able. I thought I would be bribing them to not make embarrassing comments about me while in the dressing rooms but I lucked out, Aunt Shel will be going too. I am also looking forward to having some bonding time with her. We used to do stuff like this all the time but now we are always so busy, or there are extra things to do, or extra people along.

So tomorrow I will be depressed because I hate looking like this and I hate having to admit that this has happened. All that aside I hope I can find some nice shorts cheap. Maybe I will even find a t-shirt that isn't gray. Which reminds me, I need to find something to wear tomorrow that isn't gray. There is a sales lady in the mall that says I am depressing. Every time she sees me I am wearing a gray t-shirt and a gray zip-up hoodie. I laughed at her, but now I watch what I wear when I will be at the mall.

Let's go swimming 3

I don't really have much to say this week.
Not sure if that is good or bad.
Some positives:
I am no longer consumed by the depth of the pool. That area over beyond the lifeguard's chair isn't so ominous. In fact, sometimes it can be down right fun.
I can get my face in the water.
I can move my arms and kick my feet.
I can tread water.
I think I can swim the width of the pool, in the shallow end, without the aid of flippers.

See I just have positives coming out of my ears.
EARS. UGH. That's where the problem lies. I can't seem to let go of my ears. I can swim the pool(with floaty aides, of course) I can put my face in, blow bubbles, kick, float, and tread all damn night but for some reason that damn swimming with turning your face side to side IS NOT FOR ME. The instructor thinks it is a control issue. I feel in control with my head above water. When I have to leave my ear in, catch my breath, and put my face back in I don't have control.
I agree.

For all practical purposes I am officially "familiar" with the water. I am not comfortable. I don't know that I will ever volunteer to go swimming. BUT familiar is good. I AM comfortable with familiar.

As strange as it might sound I am noticing changes in other areas of my life. I don't seem to be so frantic over everything. Maybe by conquering this I am going to be able to let go of some of the other anxieties I have. I'm not sure I would know how to survive without all those extra anxieties...huh...I just gave myself more to worry about. Just kidding. Seriously I will have a lot of free time if I'm not worrying and wondering all the time.
I know things have changed for me.
We have termites. 2 months ago the news of termites would have been earth shattering. I would have spent the 3 days between discovery and treatment fretting. Is the bedroom going to crumble around us. Do they come out at night and crawl on us. In 3 days time the queen has had time to lay like 5 billion eggs. Surely they need a lot of wood to feed all those babies! I really haven't had any freak outs like that.
We discussed how we were paying for this. I(another change, I usually listen) came up with a plan that I hope will work. Aside from a few dreams about termites that resemble more of me taking the character of the Ant Bully than termites taking over my home, I have been calm.

I might not be able to swim but trying to learn is making me a stronger and healthier person.

True to Life comic strip

Tied to the Internet by themomsalon related [www.mombloggersclub.com]

Let's go swimming 2

Welcome back to my swimming experience.
Overall this week was much better. I didn't get locked in a pitch black locker room. I didn't go in the locker room. But just the same, it didn't happen. I got my face wet. Eyes, nose, and mouth all in the water.

The fear seems to be subsiding. Some. I still tried to come up with a respectable excuse to cancel. I still felt like throwing up upon walking into the pool area. I still felt like crying like a baby when it was over. The important thing is, I didn't do any of those things. I felt them. Recognized it. Got it under control.

We used flippers this week. It was neat. I was holding my foam dumbbell bar kicking my legs and got all the way to the diving boards before I realized I couldn't touch. I was also putting my face in the water and LOOKING in the pool. I was not choking. I didn't worry about breathing or not breathing. Hell I didn't even know if I could touch or not. After the first time I got my nose in and didn't choke I suddenly became a child. I had that, I learned a new trick look at me and praise me, attitude. I can put my face in, I can pull my out...hahaha I am so cool. The coolness feeling only last 2 minutes. At that point I was no longer cool because my instructor said put your ear in, leaving your ear in turn your face in. I thought "look at me I am awesome. Ear in(check) fac...gagcoughgag...ok, didn't know it would feel different. The rest of the lesson went downhill from there. I began noticing other things too. Like the barbell floating thingy works a lot better when you aren't clutching to it for dear life. Flippers are better in the deep end. Holy crap did I just think about going to the deep end for my flippers. I AM NOT IN CONTROL HERE! MIND HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER BY THE WATER! Shit what if I have one of those water worms in my....oh wait swim teacher is talking. What did she say?

We worked up and down the pool with my ear in then put face in. I swallowed A LOT of water. I coughed so much that my throat hurt. I successfully went from ear to face MAYBE 5 times. It is nothing compared to the 500 times we tried.
On the other hand maybe it is more than I understand. Every time I was defeated by the water I kept at it and didn't give up. Sure in the end the score was water-500 Erin-5 but that is 5 more than I have ever had before.


What I don't get is why the swim instructor asks me "what do you want from this" or "why are you scared" and I completely clam up. In a perfect world I want to be able to swim, like really swim, you know, the whole pool. I feel that is a bit unrealistic. Who goes from SCARED of water to Olympic swimmer in 4 half hour sessions? More realistically I want to be able to go on vacation this year and not spend every second in the kiddie pool. I want to see the kids enjoying the water park. Hell, I might want to enjoy it. I want to know how to get to that point.

Fearless Fourteen

Today has been a very good day. There have been many many reasons for my giddy mood. Home taxes for the flood. Our good neighbor insurance agent did FINALLY give me the coverage I need to protect my family. I didn't buy $315 worth of books from the traveling book kid. The kids have been surprisingly nice to one another. Jonas' homework was soooooo easy that he got 3 full pages done. See many happy occasions today. However the best part of the day... Fearless Fourteen arrived. Just minutes ago. I can't wait to read it! I am considering taking off to Starbucks tonight to get in a few hours of reading. Or maybe I will just lock myself in my room. Whatever I do you can bet that the kids won't be fed, bathed, or dressed until I finish it:) Adios!

Let's go swimming

I am planning this for the next 4 Thursdays. I am opening myself up. Sharing my journey on facing and(hopefully) conquering a fear that has controlled my life for 28 years. All my life I have been afraid of water. Over bridges, in creeks, lakes, ponds, and pools. I try to avoid all recreational water usage. No more! As of Tuesday evening I began private swim lessons. That, in conjunction with blogging my journey, I hope to overcome all of the water phobias I have.

I was very open with the instructor on the phone. Telling her I am scared of the water. I will get in with the kids but only about chest high and no getting my face wet. Plus all the other nonsense I could get out during our conversation. We set up classes for Tuesday evenings after Steve is home.

My first lesson started out rocky. We talked about why I was scared. What exactly I am scared of. If there was a specific reason I was scared. My answers for all were a great big "I DON'T KNOW!"
Way to be all honest and everything, I know.
I was nervous. I had just gotten locked into a pitch black locker room(long story) and now as we are talking the pool is dark. I wasn't exactly at the top of my game. In fact I am pretty sure that some of my "insane fears" start in a dark locker room! I was impressed that I didn't run screaming from the Y when I finally got out of the locker room.
If I had been honest I would have said I am scared for so many reasons that listing them out would take all day. My earliest fear of water has to be around 4 or 5. I went to my cousin's swim lessons and the teacher made all the kids go down the slide. I was scared. I was also shy so I did what I was asked even though I was scared. The teacher assured me that I would be caught. I wasn't. I have very vivid memories of seeing the legs of the teacher underwater and reaching for them trying to get to them but not being able. The next thing I remember is being brought to the side of the pool, coughing and crying. I'm not saying that my 20 year old brain is right but this is the memory that has surfaced every time water has been an issue. There are memories of friends "teaching" me to swim by holding my head underwater and taking me to the deep end to sink or float. There isn't just one reason I am scared there are many. Probably many more that I'm not aware of. As an adult, a mother, and a wife I know I hate not feeling in control and safe. At least when things are out of control I still have somewhere solid to turn too. If I am over my head in the water, where do I go? I don't have control of me.

What exactly am I scared of? Well I am scared of not having control. Not having somewhere to turn. I am scared of drowning. I'm scared of the kids needing me and not being able to save them. I am just plain scared of anything and everything that could happen in the water. Have you seen the water babies video? Scared the hell out of me. I cried the entire time I watched it.
Basically anything with water scares the hell out of me. I believe I actually have a phobia. No matter how crazy it may sound to people I am no longer afraid to admit it.

Overall the first lesson was okay. I survived. I only had a minor panic, not counting the locker room fiasco, and I learned I am better than I think I am. I left feeling like I had already accomplished something. I guess, I did. I signed up and followed through!

I feel very foolish with my water phobias and have been scoffed and laughed at whenever I admit to it. I am not hiding from it any longer. Isn't the first step to recovery admitting you have a problem? I have an unnatural fear of the water, specifically me in the water.
What phobias do you have that you keep hidden?

Need an ego boost? Go to the eye doctor with 3 kids

The older kids went to the eye doctor today. First visit for both. We only took them because of the new law in IL stating that every child entering kindergarten needs to have an eye exam by a optometrist. I figured since Adylynn had to go it wouldn't hurt for Jonas to get checked too. After the appointment I was planning on going to the library so I took Jaden with us. All 3 kids were beyond excellent.

The exams went really well. Both kids did exactly what they were asked. It seems both Jonas and Adylynn have a slight farsightedness. Nothing to be worried about, most likely it will correct itself.

Ok I am going to start bragging. If you don't want to hear about how perfect my kids are, please turn off your computer.
Don't say I didn't warn you...
So first the individual child compliments I got
1. Wow, he is 2. He is so big(that isn't the compliment and in fact I am really getting sick of hearing this) and such a good boy letting mom fill out papers. My babies never let me get this stuff done ~ from old lady in the waiting area to(about) Jaden
2. He is very informative isn't he? ~ the doctor about Jonas. Jonas must have some sort of nervous talk a mile a minute tick. He did this same thing yesterday. He is asked a question "where do you live in Indiana" and instead of answering the name of his town he goes into this huge story about being a child of divorce, the days of the week, what all the instruments remind him of, all the insects, birds, animals we saw on our walk and how we all think he is very smart.
3. She is the best 4 year old I have ever tested. She is probably better than the 5 year olds too ~ the doctor talking about Adylynn. He wouldn't stop talking about how good she was. she's great. She is so mature. So well behaved. Or the best one, "I bet you are just a little angel at home, a big helper for mom"
I have no idea how why or when Ady managed to wrap this guy around her finger but good golly did she ever have him.

Now onto the group compliments
Look at how good these kids are being ~ receptionist
You really are an awesome mom ~ creepy old guy referring to my ability to juggle 3 kids, stairs, papers, a purse, a stroller, and a doll Jaden insisted on bringing but then I was stuck carrying.
You must be doing everything right with them. I have never had a group of kids behave so well~ the doctor
You walked here? How old are they? How far did you walk? You are lucky, my daughter's kids run all over. ~ the librarian when I asked her for a bag for our books.

I feel so good about the kids and myself. I am considering taking them out everyday.

Rainy Day Blues

These pictures pretty much tell our story. You know, not including the mini freak out I had on Steve. I was totally rational no matter what he says. It also doesn't include the absolutely horrible unfriendly neighborhood insurance agent we still currently pay to insure us.(Please note-CURRENTLY)
So anyway, here is the short story:

This would be some time before we evacuated the house in the wee hours of the morning. Please notice the water level.

Another water level shot. If you look to the left of the picture you can see a black piece of padding on the weight bench.

Water has stopped coming in from the toilet. What we didn't know at the time was there was still water coming in through the foundation and a water spigot.

The weight bench. Water is now touching the pad.

We didn't have insurance, which is a long pissy story, but we really didn't take a big loss either. We had to have someone come in to fix the water heater and air conditioner. There are a handful of material items that we lost but overall we were very lucky. The kids and pets all survived well. Steve and I were laughing during most of this. I believe laughter is probably one of the greatest gifts I have. It all comes with a huge dose of sarcasm BUT at least we can laugh about this stuff.

That's it, in a very small nutshell. I might post more down the road. I don't know. Honestly I am still dealing with the aftermath on a daily basis and retelling the LONG story to anyone who will listen so I don't know that I will share more here. Besides I still have a dance recital, and a graduation to post about.

A letter to my husband

Dearest Hubby,

Please stop submitting me to this cruel and unusual punishment of the desktop. I am finding it harder and harder to remain calm using the damn wireless mouse and weird ass swooshy keyboard. Did you ever notice how hard it is to get the wireless mouse pointer onto the item you are trying to click on? I HATE IT! Also I have pictures, videos, and stories that the internet world would like to see and hear. I swear if you don't fix my wi-fi soon I will give people permission to throw tomatoes at you. Yeah you heard me...tomatoes! And maybe they will be rotten ones! After all I have done for you this week, with the sewage in the basement, no air, sitting through that Indiana Jones movie, and dealing with our HORRIBLE insurance agent, isn't it the least you can do for me? Give me my wi-fi back. I have started to notice weird things with my speaking and I believe that it is directly related to my lack of blog and twitter time. Like, I now say "ALL CAPS" before I yell at the kids. Or when I want to really get my point across I say "FIX THE FUCKING COMPUTER OR I WILL SNAP YOUR NECK EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT" It just isn't right. I think it is making me sick too.

I logged into my reader today and saw I had 230 unread items. I felt all this pressure to read them all RIGHT. NOW. but alas I am unable to hideout in the bedroom and read all the blogs I so desperately need. For the screen is too big, the brightness hurts my eyes, the speakers are crystal clear, and the whole mouse pointer issue mention before. It simply is not fair to continue forcing me to live like this. PUT DOWN THE LAUNDRY AND GET YOUR ASS ON THE COMPUTER! It mustn't go on like this any longer. Wait, what's that you said? If you put down the laundry I have to fold it? Well OK...you fold the laundry THEN GET YOUR ASS ON THE COMPUTER!

Lots of love
Your wife

EW EW EW and EW!

You remember this from a couple weeks ago: Spider found in grapes

Now I bring you: Scorpion in watermelons

All I can say is "Holy Moly, Batman!"

I have the chills and am getting all jittery. Go, watch the video then come back and tell me if you get all heebie jeebie.

YIKES!

Spider found in grapes after 2 days in the fridge.
OMG! I have nightmares about these exact things!

I love the quote from the man at the reptile center

"We get about half a dozen calls a year from various supermarkets and grocers about the area to come and pick them (creatures) up.

Holy crap! At least 6 times a year in England this happens.
How often does it happen in the US? What's next? One day we will be walking through the produce section of our local store and see the Chicken Eating Spider wander out from behind the banana stand. EEK!

I get the chills just thinking about it. We watched the chicken eating spider show on PBS and even Steve got all heebie jeebie

Happy Anniversary

I guess I forgot to publish this yesterday. Weird. I must have gotten distracted. Oh well.


Today marks 2 years since we got married on that FREEZING Saturday in May. The Awesome Hubby is gone. Training all week in Chicago. I am spending this anniversary running the kids to swim classes, and school while Steve is having to sit through a class that so far has been boring for him. It sucks but I am handling it well.
In sticking with tradition of anniversary meanings, this year is cotton, I got Steve a shirt.
I am still awaiting my gift BUT it isn't cotton. I will be showing off my new pink Flip Video as soon as I get it.

I found this quote looking for something mushy this morning. Screw the mushy crap...this is us!

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner

I love and miss you bunches! Happy Anniversary!

The kids(and Awesome Hubby) surprised me with this

iPod shuffle


and yes I have Billy Joel on it.

Freecycle

I am an avid freecycle user. I probably freecycle some random item that is no longer useful to me, once a week. I fell in love with the idea of this easy, no hassle way of keeping still usable stuff out of the trash by offering it to someone else in the community. Over the past couple of years I have freecycled many good quality things. Everything from kids clothes to toys to the wood burning stove that we inherited when we bought the house. Obviously, I use the site frequently. Occasionally there are posts for items that I need or want too. I have used the site so much that I have gotten to know some members as more than just there usernames. I met Sophie's mom on freecycle and became her babysitter all from a bag of boys clothes. Adylynn and I have friends who give us dibs on clothing before freecycling. It is wonderful! We are doing great things for the earth and managing to make a few few friends too!
If you aren't freecycling you really should be.
Just be prepared... nothing is really negative about the process just a little annoying. Once you figure out who wants stuff, who answers emails, who takes EVERYTHING you post, even if it is a half eaten box of crackers from 1940, then it is really a pleasing way to recycle. My biggest annoyance, the reason for this rant, is the people who email me this big long sob story about how my no longer used items are desperately needed by them, their niece, or their cousin's uncle's wife's brother twice removed. They would so greatly appreciate my generosity if I picked them to receive my stuff. So I get suckered in to Betty Sue Bob Jones' desperate need for infant cereal and I send her an email that says where I live and the times I am available for pick up then I wait. and wait. and WAIT. AND WAIT. AND WAIT! Until I finally send an email that says something nice includes my phone numbers, my address, good pick up times and even an offer to leave it on the porch for their convenience but I really want to write "COME GET THIS SHIT" and I wait and wait and wait and check my junk email. Read through 30 enlarge your penis emails only to find that Betty Sue Bob Jones didn't get sent to spam. So I send another still nice but bordering on "GET YOUR SHIT OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN" email you can tell the difference because when I am really mad I don't say "I hope everything is alright" nor do I end with "Thank you" Then there is usually an email back that makes me feel like a real ass. The kind of email that I am pretty sure is a lame ass excuse but I still feel bad. Your uncle can only have so many house fires. So then I send an email back telling the person I am so sorry for them. Can you imagine being abducted by aliens! OMG! I even offer to bring it over to them since I feel like the biggest ass for not ending my last email with "Thank you" I hit send and then I wait...wait...wait...wait...wait and WAIT until the item that I was hoping to get out of my house before trash day has now sat in my bedroom for 4 trash days.

SUCKER!

When I finally throw it away and post it as "taken" I get an angry email from Betty Sue Bob Jones stating that was her stuff!

Seriously, even though every group has a Betty Sue Bob Jones, or two, you should find your local freecycle group.
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!

Because I love you

I cut the grass!!!!


I also scooped the poop...but let's not talk about how our love life is better cause I shoveled the sh*t:)

Toys! Toys! Toys!

I have been lazy with blogs this week. Imagine my delight when I saw 5 minutes for mom was having 2 weeks of toys! This is the perfect contest for someone who has had her kids' toy room publicly attacked as "just awful".
More. Toys.

ANYWAY 5 minutes for mom is doing a 2 week toy contest. These are some pretty cool toys, for all ages, and many of the toys would be a welcome addition to our "just awful" toy room.

Go check out some of the cool contests at 5 minutes for mom

*Please note some of the opinions expressed in this post are not those of the blog owner. Our kids are not allowed to eat, drink, color, marker, playdoh, art, or craft in their toy room. SO... I do not feel our toy room is anything more than overwhelming cluttered.

Sitting

Day 1 of hubby's golf trip and I find myself stuck in the downstairs bathroom waiting for my 2 year old to go upstairs, in the bathroom, get in the bottom drawer, get the toilet paper, and bring it to me.



This never happens when Steve is home!